"Now imagine you’re having dinner somewhere really nice. Fine food, fine wine, perfect service - the works. The conversation sparkles like the crystal, and you yourself are shining like the silverware. You’re pretty sure that if you don’t score tonight, she’s at least going to give you a second date to try again.
And then she rips a fart so nasty it makes waves in the tablecloth.
That’s kind of what it’s like being the parent to a really cute kid."
"Diaper Observations"
VodkaPundit, April 3, 2006
I realized last week that no matter which candidate wins the Presidency in November, there will be daughters in the White House.
Again.
First Sons can be a source of family pride (John Quincy Adams) or tragedy (William Wallace Lincoln), but First Daughters are something altogether different.
First Daughters are- interesting.
When Theodore Roosevelt assumed the Presidency in 1901(after the assassination of William McKinley) he brought 6 children to the White House, but as far as the press was concerned, only one mattered: Alice Lee Roosevelt.
Alice, 17, was consistently good copy: "she kept dynamite caps and pet reptiles in her purse," according to historian Edmund Morris, and would sometimes appear in public wearing live snakes under her clothes. Guests at important social and political gatherings might take her hand only to see the bright bracelet on her wrist uncoil and disappear up her sleeve.
She was once seen wearing a boa constrictor around her neck.
Alice Lee Roosevelt was the only child of her father's first marriage; her mother, Alice Hathaway Lee, died two days after giving birth. Overcome with grief, Roosevelt left his baby daughter with his sister "Bamie," and travelled alone to the Dakota Territory.
Roosevelt remarried in 1886 and had 5 more children with his second wife.
Alice seemed to spend the rest of her youth competing for his attention.
In 1905 Roosevelt sent Alice on a goodwill trip to Japan, chaperoned by William Howard Taft. Historian Emond Morris describes the trip in his book Theodore Rex:
"She was, if anything, wilder than ever, smoking cigarettes whenever she felt like it, mastering the abdominal jiggles of the hula, and occaisionally firing impromptu fusillades with her pocket revolver. Taft felt obliged to remind her that he was responsible to the President for her conduct abroad."
The press were delighted; they dubbed her trip "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland."
"I can be President of the United States -or- I can attend to Alice. I cannot possibly do both!" Roosevelt sighed.
Alice was as beautiful as she was incorrigible and considered the most sought-after debutante in Washington. She married congressman Nicholas Longworth on February 17, 1906, treating the nation to an elaborate White House wedding.
As the couple prepared to depart for their honeymoon, Alice's stepmother, Edith, delivered a parting shot:
"I want you to know I am glad to see you leave," she said. "You have never been anything but trouble."
It's not always the First Daughter who causes the trouble, however.
Margaret Truman was the adored and doted-upon only child of President Harry S. Truman. Margaret was an aspiring singer who pursued serious vocal training. She began her professional career in 1947, appearing with the Detroit Symphony in a radio broadcast. Later that year she appeared at the Hollywood Bowl with conductor Eugene Ormandy.
Her performances received mixed reviews.
She had already signed an exclusive contract with RCA records when she appeared in Constitution Hall on December 6, 1950. Washington Post Music Critic Paul Hume reviewed the concert:
"Miss Truman is a unique American phenomenon with a pleasant voice of little size and fair quality...(she)cannot sing very well...is flat a good deal of the time--more last night than at any time we have heard her in past years...has not improved in the years we have heard her...(and) still cannot sing with anything approaching professional finish."
Truman immediately wrote an angry letter and sent it to Hume, ignoring his aide's objections. Hume promptly released the note to the press. It's worth reprinting in full:
Mr. Hume:
I've just read your lousy review of Margaret's concert. I've come to the conclusion that you are an "eight ulcer man on four ulcer pay."
It seems to me that you are a frustrated old man who wishes he could have been successful. When you write such poppy-cock as was in the back section of the paper you work for it shows conclusively that you're off the beam and at least four of your ulcers are at work.
Some day I hope to meet you. When that happens you'll need a new nose, a lot of beefsteak for black eyes, and perhaps a supporter below!
Pegler, a gutter snipe, is a gentleman alongside you. I hope you'll accept that statement as a worse insult than a reflection on your ancestry.
H.S.T.
Truman's aides told him the letter was a mistake; it could only damage his image.
"Wait till the mail comes in," Truman said. "I'll make you a bet that 80 percent of it is on my side of the argument."
It was.
Of course, First Daughters are not always a liability. Sometimes they can improve a president's image- however briefly.
One of this nation's least popular presidents- Richard Milhous Nixon- gave the nation one of its most popular events: a White House Wedding.
In 1971, Tricia Nixon decided she wanted to be married in the Rose Garden.
The nation was fascinated. During the preparations Tricia Nixon was featured not once, but twice on the cover of Life magazine. The official recipe for the wedding cake was released to an eager public. The guest list numbered 400.
Even the Vietnam War protesters camped out in front of the White House agreed to move down the street until the ceremony was over.
When rain threatened to ruin the much anticipated event, an Air Force meteorologist was consulted to get the clouds in order. Nixon's social secretary, Lucy Winchester Breathhit, received the official "go":
"In 23 minutes you will have a 14-minute break in the weather."
The ceremony went off as planned. Seated among the Dearly Beloved was Alice Roosevelt Longworth, aged 87.
The next day the New York Times broke the Pentagon Papers story.
The media has always been the fifth wheel of the First Family. Perhaps no modern president understood this better than Ronald Reagan, dubbed the "Great Communicator." With his Hollywood background, President Reagan was very effective in front of the camera and understood the power of publicity.
So did his daughter, Patti Davis. Patti Davis not only refused her father's name; she rejected his entire values system. She did everything in her power to make this clear: smoking marijuana, abusing amphetamines, even posing for Playboy and making a "Playboy Celebrity Centerfold" video.
And she wrote books. Her first novel, Homefront, was published in 1986. It was widely assumed to be autobiographical. This was followed by House of Secrets, described by Library Journal as "The tiresome story of the growing pangs of a privileged-but-rebellious child." Davis also published an autobiography, The Way I See It.
In his own autobiography, President Reagan wrote: "[Patti] made it plain to me that she thinks I am wrong and that she is against everything I stand for."
Davis' estrangement seemed to wane after the 1990s; in 2003 she campaigned to keep her father's would-be assassin, John Hinckley, confined to a mental institution. She also pressured CBS to cancel "The Reagans", a two-part series that she claimed distorted and misrepresented the Reagan family.
Her most recent books, beginning with Angels Don't Die: My Father's Gift of Faith, and ending with The Long Goodbye, portray her father in a more sympathetic, understanding light.
Writing in Time magazine in 2003, Davis offered a no-nonsense description of life in a First Family:
"When you are part of a public family, a different standard applies. Every part of your life is regarded as accessible. I accept things that other people see as strange..."
...and maybe some of those things only seem strange when viewed through the fisheye lens of the media. First Families are, after all, families first. Who among our relatives could survive the fishbowl?
Perhaps we should remember that while watching the First Daughters. No matter how entertaining they are.
References
Theodore Rex- Edmond Morris. 2002 Modern Library Paperback Edition. ISBN 0812966007.Pps 251,399
Washingtonienne-Thomas Mallon, New York TImes
Alice Roosevelt Longworth, wild thing- Lawrence L. Knutson, Salon.com
Margaret Truman Daniel, President's Daughter and Popular Author, Dies at 83- Lawrence Van Gelder, New York Times
Harry S. Truman Library and Museum
It's No Piece of Cake- Monica Hesse, WashingtonPost.com
Patricia Nixon the Cover Girl Bride-Doug Wead
The Reagans, from One of Them-Patti Davis, Time/CNN
Update:
Welcome, VodkaPundit readers! Pour yourself a drink and have a look around!
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