It's the Day After the Oscars and everyone is blogging about how they'd rather not blog about the Oscars. They're all describing last nite's ceremony in great detail just so they can prove how worthless it was, and show how effectively they ignored it.
I'm reminded of the many times well-meaning people have asked me, since I eat (mostly) vegetarian, if I've ever tried one of those turkey-shaped tofu things. To which I always say: if I don't want to eat turkey in the first place, why would I buy something intended to be a fake turkey?
Look, I personally dislike beef, chicken, pork, lamb, turkey- pretty much every type of flesh except deepwater fish. So I'm not interested in tofu turkeys, soyburgers or any other type of meat stand-in.
If you're really not interested in the Oscars, don't watch them. If you really dislike the whole ceremony, do something else. If you're tuning in so that you can then majesterially ignore it, well- it's like buying that tofu turkey, isn't it?
Unappetizing and pretentious.
I have no problem with people who like meat. Roast, bake, broil and eat in peace! It just doesn't happen to appeal to me, so please don't take it amiss when I opt for a salad. Similarly, if you look forward to watching the Oscars every year, good for you. Whip out the popcorn and fire up the TV. I can think of worse things you could be doing.
Just don't pretend you're staring at the ceiling, thinking of the flag.
And no, I won't be joining you. Not because I especially hate the Oscars- I can take it or leave it- but because I can't stay up that late on a Sunday. Monday is the start of the work week at our house.
So let me know who gets Best Actress next year, ok? Just don't pretend you didn't notice.